Many in life are faced with such a problem that love happens to be gone, or a new love has appeared. We begin to think how to return a loved one. I am sure that it is almost impossible. Not always, of course ... But if a new love has entered the life of your half, a deeper and stronger love, I am afraid, there is nothing to hope for.
I think many will disagree, since they are more alive than our hopes and illusions. The problem is always that we begin to create a projection in our head that you will be together. As long as your spouse builds his new relationship - in the meantime, you live in the projection of your relationship. If a person builds life, forgetting about himself and his interests, thinking only about the desires and needs of a partner, loses his will and independence, lives the life of another person, then he is emotionally dependent. The degree of this dependence is of course different for everyone, but in any case, this is a terrible thing, since you do not live your life. In all his passion and tenderness, the lover projects onto another, implying by default that he is experiencing the same to him.And it is terribly disappointed, making sure that it is not. We cannot read each other’s thoughts, as though we would not like to believe in it. People have a different past with different attitudes and traditions.
Everyone understands everything in their own way; they come from different families, where there were different orders and upbringing. In order to understand each other, people need to talk a lot, because the words are one, and they all understand it in their own way. One and the same words mean different things to different people. Then, our brain hears only what it wants to hear, and then we need to think about something that we miss past the ears. We often avoid talking, keep silent in awkward and incomprehensible situations, endure something, make concessions, thinking that this is better. But how do you know how best? Silence and understatement, it accumulates and leads to a complete misunderstanding of each other. Even as a result, we create a false idea about ourselves — the person sees the mask, not you. At the same time, we think that we are understood. But believe that your thoughts are only your thoughts, they are not understandable to anyone unless they are voiced. Often people get stuck in relationships, each time attacking the same “rake”. When this happens every time the same thing.The problem of these people is that they do not feel that they are initially meaningful and self-sufficient for themselves, since they are ready to become a slave of another person. Exalting their partner to the throne, many forget about themselves. This is a very big mistake! On this subject, I really like one poem, which was written by Robert Rozhdestvensky. I quote the ending: “Love you give? - Love. - There will not be this! - For what?! “For not liking slaves.” The meaning of these words makes you think, not sacrificing yourself is not love.
But, many take this position, as it is beneficial, it excludes to take responsibility for their lives. An addicted person builds his life around the life of a partner, forgetting about his life, he does not live his life. To seek love of a loved one is a worthy and fascinating affair. Just do it right. Do not be humiliated, do not demand, do not beg, do not blame, do not threaten and do not hysterics, as they often do, but become better, more beautiful. Improve and not get stuck in the past, it was all. Live the future, and your love will soon find you. After all, true love "is not looking for her."
Genuine love wishes happiness to the beloved, even if he is not happy with you. Love yourself, the more beautiful and brighter your soul will be, the more likely it is that it will attract love again, it may be able to return your loved one. But it will not succeed, all the same efforts will be spent not in vain. Being intrinsically beautiful is valuable in itself.