Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

You have recently become husband and wife. We sincerely congratulate you!

Now you willlearn to live together. In order for you to succeed, you will need to discuss a lot and agree on a lot. Including it is necessary to distribute duties around the house, raising children, making money, caring for animals, helping parents.

How to properly divide the duties so that everyone is comfortable and easy? Let's figure it out together.

Read also:Parents, grandmothers and children: how to find a middle ground?

Distribution of duties

Probably many of you will say thatfamily responsibilitiesit is not necessary, somehow everything will happen, settle, distribute itself. Of course, it is possible and so, but this behavior can turn into unpleasant situations that can provoke conflicts and discontent.

For example, you for some reasondid not have time to cook dinner, and the husband returned from work and said that he was hungry. You report that you did not have time to cook the food, you suggest that he cook together. But he is upset, he says that he does not know how to cook, and in general, cooking is the direct responsibility of his wife, as he believes.

It's over, you hurt, bitterly, but who is to blame if you did not agree, and he is really sure that cooking fresh borsch is your sacred duty. To prevent such situations, it is betterin the first weeks of marriage to agreeabout how, who, what and when will do the housework.Distribution of duties- it is a pledge of effective life together, saving time, nerves, as well as preserving harmony and love!

Life

Life is a short word, but it unites in itself such a number of cases that it is unlikely that we can remember all these matters at once, we will speak about the main thing.

Cleaning and washing

As known,cleaning the apartmentneed to do at least 1 time per week, although if there are pets in the apartment, then you need to clean more often. You can negotiate with your husband about who will do the cleaning. You can do the cleaning weekly: one week - you, another - it.

In addition, you can clean up every week together,sharing responsibilities. For example, you wipe the dust, put everything in its place, and your husband vacuuming and washing the floor, or in some other combinations. Of course, joint cleaning unites, it can be held to the music, the process can attract children.

Wash ceased to be for most families.tedious and lengthy process, as automatic washing machines appeared. The main task is to teach the husband to load the laundry into the machine, pour in powder, conditioner, turn on the machine and hang out the washed laundry. Also, it will not be superfluous to briefly tell your loved one about which things cannot be washed together, and which ones should be washed on a careful mode or without spinning.

In general, you can do the laundry on an ongoing basis, but the husband must be aware of all the subtleties so that he can do the laundry himself at any time, for example, whenfind yourself in the hospital.

Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents - image number 1

Read also:The crisis of three years at my mother: how to overcome?

Cooking and washing dishes

Most often, this work in the family is occupied by a woman. Moreover, many men believe that this is truly female work.If your husband thinks so, then, of course, the whole kitchen and washing up will lie on you, but that does not mean that you should not try to involve him in cooking or cleaning the kitchen. For example, you can ask your husband to help you in the kitchen at the weekend.

If your husband does not think that it is necessary to entrust the preparation of food to the woman, and he does not mind cooking dinner himself, then you can agree with him that the first comer is preparing dinner, and if you come together, then cook together . At the weekend, you can also do cooking together a few days in advance.

Forumwoman Alina says:“Before my husband and I got married, he lived alone for a year without a mother, so he learned how to cook! This is such a miracle, no problem at all. We always cook together, we return after work and start cooking dinner, the two of us get 2 times faster, tastier and more fun. I advise everyone to teach their husbands to cook, if the husband even learns to clean the potatoes, this is a great help and support! ”

Also agree on who will be and whento shop. It will be more economical to visit the supermarket once a week, making all the necessary purchases for 5-7 days.During the week, then you just need to buy more bread and other products that quickly deteriorate. It is better to go to the store with your husband so that you don’t have to carry heavy bags yourself. If you have a car, then, of course, it is better to make purchases by car, so that no one carries weight.

Billing fee

Every month, the family must pay for utilities, the Internet, television, telephones, and so on. Some of you mustto take the responsibilityand write in a notebook all the bills to be paid, record the dates when the payment should arrive and pay on time. Usually this is done by the person whospends less time at workAfter all, the payment is connected with visiting savings banks, post offices and other institutions that work on a specific schedule.

Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents - image №2

Read also:5 ways to destroy relationships

If broke, dropped, flows, and so on.

Usually, if something breaks, flows, drips or squeaks, the wife begins to look askance at her husband and hint to him thathe has to fix it all. Many women are sincerely convinced that a man must be able to understand light bulbs, taps, wires and other difficult things.

But, as practice shows, this is not at all necessary. Yourthe husband may not be able to, it's quite normal. It is not worth it to make trouble and reach insults, just ask your husband to solve these problems at his discretion. What difference does it make to you, he himself will personally be fixing the crane for a month or will call a qualified specialist who in 5 minutes will cope with everything and guarantee his work? In fact, there is no difference, the main thing is that the problem be fixed!

Children

It is important to understand what age children are talking about. If thisbabiesThen it is clear that mostly mothers take care of such children. Ifolder kids, then the father can quite actively help: to drive to the kindergarten, to dress, to bathe, to play, to teach.

It is desirable that dad studied from birthtake care of the babyand didn’t put all the responsibility on mom. Remember, you have a child in common. You are equal parents for him, and it would be good if you would take part in caring for children from the very beginning with the same activity.

To make it easier for everyone, it is better to share responsibilities. For example, dad takes a child to kindergarten, and mom picks up, and on weekends a child visits a grandmother, and mom and dad can relax, dad checks math, and mom speaks the language and so on.

Pets

If you start a pet after the wedding, then this is your overall responsibility, and you should immediately agree on who will take care of this or that part of the care. For example, if you started a dog, the husband can walk with her, and you bathe and feed.

If the animal lived with one of you before the wedding, then you may well agree that the one who started the animal continues to care for the animal, or you can also share the care responsibilities if there is such a desire.

Parents

When you docreating your own familyIt is important not to forget about helping parents and communicating with them. Therefore, it is better to immediately agree with your husband about how often you will visit your parents, how you will help them: financially, to provide all possible physical assistance.

Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents - image №3

Read also:General life and family happiness: how to combine?

Making money

This question very often becomes the cause of conflicts in the family. Therefore, it is very important to discuss in detail who and how will earn money in your family. There is a belief that the husband should feed the family. In some, the family is, some men consciously strive for this and want to release their ladies from work.

Vladimir Selivanov, a family psychologist:“In the issue of distribution of duties, the moment of responsibility is important, who is ready to take responsibility? It so happens that a woman takes care of everything. And then he starts accusing the husband of not doing anything. Thus, a woman reduces the self-esteem of a man, so a man nibbles at himself, falls into depression. The more criticism there is, the less energy a man has to solve problems, for example, finding a job. It is advisable to try to cheer up a man, say that you believe in him that everything will work out ”.

But it happens in a different way, when both spouses work and try to work together to achieve financial well-being. The families in which the woman feeds the family can be absolutely happy and harmonious, it all depends on how you agree, how each of you relates to the role of husband and wife in family life.

Daria Selivanova, family psychologist: «It is not always pleasant for a man to see alongside a strong successful woman who demonstrates this in every possible way, especially if something is not working during this period. ”

Proper distribution of responsibilities between spouses is the key to happiness and peace in the family.Remember that the main thing is to agree in such a way that it will be convenient and comfortable for everyone, to discuss all those issues that bother you or your spouse. Each family will have its own, best for them, model of distribution of duties.

Related news

  • Ghana Kente Wedding Dress
  • You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor
  • How to actually dye your hair without harm
  • Male secret, which he never confesses to you
  • Why do women hate delivering oral pleasure to a partner?
  • Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents

    Responsibilities of spouses: how to distribute the load between parents