Your love language with a partner can make a huge difference in relationships. Recognized worldwide gurus in matters of love and relationships Gary Chapman identified 5 languages of love - how each of us loves to give and receive love from others. Find out which of them you communicate:
This is the right (and best) language of love.
Why is "correct"? Because time is the most valuable thing in life - the only thing that we cannot return. Therefore, it is the most valuable thing anyone can give you.
Who prefers time: people with the right values - that is, people who know the true value of time and attention. They also value balanced relationships, because time is the only “mutual” language of love: you have to give it in order to get it back.
In the worst terms:“Time lovers” may become needy, but this is welcome in a relationship, until one of the partners begins to whine or make excessive demands.
The simplest and most interesting in love. This language of love does not require planning, expenditure of money, effort or time. You can do it spontaneously, waiting in line, greeting each other or saying goodbye! In addition, the rules of this game never change - a kiss is always a kiss, and hugs are always hugs.
Anyone who complains about the lack of touch is a limited monster who does not know his or her abilities.
One who prefers touch: simple, straightforward and consistent person.
In the worst terms:sex addict. These people are pretty simple.
The one who prefers a given language of love is a pragmatist. These are people who put productivity, efficiency and functionality over romance, form and love. They are independent people who rarely ask for or expect help even when they can use it. At the same time, they love to feel part of a team in a relationship.
In the worst terms:they abstract from intimacy through actions. They can evade the manifestations of love, thereby keeping themselves - and lovers - at a “safe” distance. “Help” is an independent language of love.
The one who prefers gifts is beautiful. Let's be honest: we are all somewhat materialistic. Yes, you can whine that this gift is very expensive, but how nice to get it! Gifts are reminiscent of a holiday, and the more often they give, the longer you carry the holiday in yourself. Such people tend to be simple and conditional in a relationship.
In the worst terms:it becomes expensive to “love” them, so relationships can lead to a debt trap. In addition, they can become Plyushkin or fetishists.
Words of encouragement
Who prefers words of encouragement: givers.
At first glance, these people are quite easy to please: a simple “thank you”, a compliment makes them glow with joy for several weeks in a row. But that is not all.
In the end, people who need encouragement are motivated only externally. They rely on external rather than internal sources of approval, seeking confidence everywhere except themselves.
They have a problem with pride. If they need someone else's encouragement, they probably don’t encourage themselves enough.
In addition, if love = encouragement, in their view, they must first do something to “deserve” love.
They are undoubtedly donors, but always awaiting your praise or encouragement. For them, love is the need to keep track of deeds = rewards, forcing them to be manipulators.
In the worst terms:they are on the slippery slope of insecurity and interdependence; fall into the bottomless pit of "words of confirmation." And it is very difficult to love. Because they can always miss the words of encouragement.